


The Feelings of Growth

by Phantom_Ice



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Adoption, Familial Love, Families of Choice, For a little bit anyway, Gen, Growing Up, He also has aspergers, Kageyama Tobio-centric, Kid Fic, Mother-Son Relationship, Motherhood, POV Outsider, Slice of Life, Why am I still tagging?, also Kags is adopted and you can pull that head canon from my cold dead hands, baby kageyama, but it's not tragic backstory (tm) or anything, but that's not addressed in this fic, he was young he was adopted by caring people and he doesn't care who his bio parents are, i can't be the only one though, so on the off chance anyone else is interested here's a thing, why am i so interested in the non-existent parents of haiku!!?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-04
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2019-10-04 02:00:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17295554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phantom_Ice/pseuds/Phantom_Ice
Summary: Raising Tobio isn't easy, and Kageyama Aoino finds the majority of her energy as a mother focused on one herculean task: to make sure her son isn't lonely.She fails... a lot. And she knows deep down that friendship and belonging is something Tobio has to find for himself. But that doesn't mean she can't help.As long as she's always there for support, even if she doesn't quite know what the perfect thing to do is, he'll never really be alone. And one day he'll meet someone who will understand him and she'll finally be able to breathe a sigh of relief. She just knows it.





	1. Fear

“I’m worried about Tobio,” Aoino whispered to her husband as they curled up on the sofa late at night. Upstairs, Tobio was fast asleep in bed wearing that angry little expression that his face seemed to naturally rest on. She couldn’t help but find it to be one of the cutest sleeping faces on the planet. As his mother, though, Aoino supposed she could be a little biased. 

The laugh track of some late-night sitcom rerun trickled out of the TV, but Aoino knew Makito was just using it as background noise to fall asleep to, so she felt comfortable voicing the fear that had been creeping up in her for the past few months as she watched her son’s behavior. She did it at a low whisper, though, because the walls of their home were old and paper thin.

Makito turned to look at her, instinctively rubbing a hand up and down her back. He was silent for a moment before speaking slowly.

“Aoino, he’s still getting used to us, to a new home, school, all of those things. I don’t think it’s odd for him to be a bit reserved.”

Makito always did have a way of jumping right into the root of a problem. All it did this time, though, was assure her that she hadn’t been making up Tobio’s avoidant behavior.

“I know that, but… It’s been eight months now and I don’t think he’s made a single friend. When I pick him up from school he’s always sitting alone in the corner in his own little world… He’s five years old, that’s a time when children are generally friends with anybody. Seeing him alone like that… it hurts.”

And it did. It hurt more than Aoino could have ever imagined something like that would.

Aoino had always considered herself a simple woman who had never asked for much in life. She had lived her entire childhood in the same small town before going off to Kyoto for university. She hadn’t disliked it, per se, but gladly returned home after receiving her degree in communications, and obtained a comfortable low-level management job at a local chain store. At twenty-six she met Kageyama Makito, a man with a similar calm disposition and general satisfaction with life, and fell into a sweet romance, no less thrilling to her for its quiet and slow pace. They fell in love, they got married, and Aoino was happy.

She was even happier when they decided they wanted a child, and despite her reservations on bringing the topic up, Makito deferred to her when she announced that she wanted to adopt rather than try for a pregnancy. 

They went through all the necessary processes, from extensive background checks to finding agencies and filling out questionnaires on the ‘type’ of child they wanted that made Aoino feel rather uncomfortable (they weren’t selling cars, here, this was another living human that they were trying to categorize). 

The ‘meetings’ were rather too stiff for her and Makito as well. It was always awkward to sit with a child who had the explicit understanding that they were being judged like prize dogs for ‘compatibility’, whatever that was supposed to mean. Though she did have to admit that the first few children they meet, two girls and one boy between the ages of four and ten, were rather boisterous for the Kageyama’s quiet lifestyle. Since she didn’t exactly know what these meetings were supposed to determine, she decided that that similarity of personality was it and they continued to show up. Still, considering their feelings on the matter, it was no surprise they didn’t go through very many meetings before deciding Tobio was perfect for them.

She remembered well how he had walked into the room with blank eyes and confused steps, at first giving them only a cursory glance. He hardly fiddled, just spun a small rubber ball around in his hand, and at first seemed angry, before Aoino realized that was just the way his sharp eyes and straight mouth made his face look. In actuality, he was a sweet child and she thought she could sense the same sort of calm satisfaction in him that she and her husband possessed. Even his features were vaguely compatible, she thought. His incredibly fine dark hair matched her own in color and her husband’s in texture. Granted both of them had black eyes, and neither a pair shaped like Tobio-chan’s, and more square faces, but those were hardly detriments. 

And so, after many more meetings and plenty of talks with Tobio’s social worker, the Kageyamas brought home the newest member of their simple family, Kageyama Tobio (his biological parents were no-contact and when the Kageyamas had asked he had expressed no desire to keep his old family name). 

Aoino was a simple person. That tended to mean she lived a life of general satisfaction and few extreme emotions. When Tobio was pronounced their son, though, she was sure a flower with big bright petals unfurled in her chest. And now, a good eight months in, it had yet to wither. All her emotions felt stronger, her happiness was supported by crayon drawings of classrooms and running in the park and her love was bolstered by small fingers gripped tight around her thumb.

The flipside to that was that her fears were churned by every screech of tires or ‘have-you-seen-me’ newspaper column and her sadness was elevated with every childish sniffle or mumbled nothingness answer when she asked what his classmates were like. 

Aoino had never liked to ask for much, and if she had never become a mother that would have likely been true of her entire life. But adopting Tobio, she felt, had made her the most demanding woman on the planet, and she would demand his happiness to the deities themselves. 

So when her husband looked uncertain in his words that it was normal, and when the next parent-teacher conference resulted in Tobio’s teacher calling him ‘cooperative but distant’ and being unable to name his friends, she knew she had to do something.

What to do, exactly, was another matter entirely. 

“Tobio, you know, I think you should try talking to Atsushi-kun.” She broached the subject while walking Tobio home from school, hoping talking in a situation where he didn’t have to look at her would make him more comfortable in answering. “He was sitting very quiet when I picked you up, just like you.”

Tobio shook his head almost immediately, looking down and watching his feet march. Aoino frowned. 

“Why not try? It doesn’t have to be Atsushi-kun. Why don’t you try playing with someone?” Knowing why, exactly, he avoided the other kids (or, god forbid, the other kids avoided him) could maybe help her develop a solution. 

Tobio’s entire hand was wrapped around three of her fingers as they walked, and she couldn’t imagine having gone most of her life without such a sensation. This burst of colorful affection was only heightened as he looked up at her with tiny wrinkles between the eyebrows of his otherwise baby smooth skin. He stared at her with this confused look for only a moment before turning forward again and continuing his marching walk. 

“I’m scary and not good at words,” he announced in that childlike way of saying something ridiculous like it was obvious. 

She was surprised but held back her initial urge to question, thinking about what he meant by his response. After a moment she gently asked him to clarify the more accessible point.

“What do you mean, not good at words? Is it hard to choose what to say to people?”

He scrunched up his face and, after a moment, shook his head slowly.

“Yes. But sometimes I even know what I want to say, but it gets stuck and I can’t say it even though I try really hard.”

Aoino tried to understand, but with such a young child it was difficult to know by pure description the difference between nerves and something else. Of course, she had noticed Tobio was a quiet child, but she had thought it was because he preferred to stay quiet, not because he had difficulty doing otherwise... He did have a habit of occasionally stuttering, though...

“How about I take you to a doctor for that, then? They can help with words sometimes,” she suggested, running through which of her acquaintances might know a good speech therapist who could give a consultation. He shrugged and she decided to note down the idea but put it on the backburner for now. 

“And scary? What makes you say that?” She continued on to the more confusing admittance. 

“I look mad even when I’m not mad. But if I smile I look even more scary. I don’t want to scare people,” he answered with a shrug.

Aoino frowned lightly, some of the petals in her chest shriveling slightly with the same sort of pain that had affected her when she spoke to her husband on their couch. She couldn’t exactly say Tobio’s classmates were wrong. Hadn’t she thought the same about him when they had first met? As an adult, she had been able to see past the natural way his features sat, but to another small child… She couldn’t exactly blame them, but she certainly didn’t feel very generous towards any of them either. What a stupid reason to exclude her son. 

“The kids at school told you that?” She confirmed. 

“No. People don’t tell me, but I can tell.” This was even more surprising. It wasn’t the sort of conclusion a child would normally come to on their own.

“Then how do you know that’s what they think? Maybe they’re just… shy.” She couldn’t believe that herself, but she needed to present some sort of alternative.

“I heard it, where I lived before. I made someone cry and the others told me not to be mean even though I didn’t know I was being mean and they said it was because I don’t know things that everybody else knows and I’m scary… I don’t want to make anybody cry again.” He looked up at her with such an earnest expression that the entire flower gave an uncomfortable start. 

Others had always told Aoino how amazing it was to be a mother. How it changed your entire life for the better and brought such complete joy. They had conveniently forgotten to mention just how complete of a sadness it could bring as well. The kind of heartbreak that near physically ached in her chest as she faced her own helplessness. 

“Oh.” She felt acutely all the insufficiency of her answer.

The two of them approached the front door of their home and Aoino steeled herself and disengaged her hand from Tobio’s to instead kneel down and hold both his tiny shoulders. 

“I don’t think you’re scary at all.” She felt it had to be said.

Her instinct proved correct when Tobio’s piercing eyes bore challengingly into hers. She watched his hand move up to tug on one of the straps of his backpack and then on the collar of his shirt. From what she’d seen, Tobio wasn’t a fidgeter, and she had never seen him suck his thumb, but the way he moved his hand in half a fist gave her the impression that was exactly what he wanted to do. She vaguely wondered why he didn’t. Had someone told him not to?

“You didn’t adopt me because I made you scared?”

It took Aoino a moment to unravel what that was even supposed to mean. She ended up unscrambling it into: “I thought (or, more likely, ‘I was told’) I scared you into adopting me.” Then she moved on to wonder how a child so young could keep something like that bottled up for any amount of time, much less, possibly, ten months. 

“Tobio, look at me. We adopted you because you’re you, because we love to be around you and because you make us happy. You did not scare us into anything.”

Tobio, at first, looked distrustful of her statement, but his face soon relaxed and he looked up at her with a less focused stare.

“You promise, kaasan?”

Aoino’s throat pulsed as his small hands gripped onto her sleeves. It wasn’t the first time he had called her such, but, for some reason, it felt like the first time that really counted. 

“I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact, Kags really does have a thing with big words. It only happens like three times in the manga (that I've read so far) but he's not great with them. It's not clear if it's a memory thing or a pronunciation thing, but considering what we know about how good his memory actually is if he's trying... idk, just found it interesting and am reading way deeper than anyone intended XD


	2. Longing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aoino read somewhere that if at all possible children should be signed up for some sort of sport. Would Tobio like that? Maybe it was worth a shot...

Sports.

Aoino had decided that the best way to integrate Tobio better with other children his age-- to make them realize he wasn't different in any way that mattered-- was by signing him up for a sport. Not any sport, though: a team sport. It would provide ample socialization and an environment of mutual support… or that’s what the websites said, anyway.

Her natural first instinct was baseball. There were tons of accessible leagues and a lot of downtime for socialization.

That was the problem. Tobio turned out to be an athletic kid. He enjoyed the running and throwing the ball, but didn’t have as much patience for all the standing around necessary to play the game. He also seemed to get no joy from using the bat, tending to get a bit frustrated with it. More than once Aoino had had to scold him for throwing the bat and the resulting screaming made clear that Tobio had a bit of a temper.

After the season was up, he seemed no happier nor any closer to any children his age, and so Aoino pulled him out.

Alright. Basketball, then. It had a lot of movement and a lot more chances to throw the ball.

After the first practice, Aoino thought this might be the one. Tobio held the large ball between his two small hands with a sort of awe that made him look the opposite of scary. He liked to hold it up to his foot or head like he was comparing sizes. The next few practices were even more promising. Watching from the sidelines, she thought he had a good bit of talent for getting the ball through the hoop. He wasn’t so great at dribbling, but none of the children were. His blocking was a little avoidant, like he didn’t want to touch anyone, but otherwise passable. That was alright, those were things he could learn with time. Aoino satisfied herself with watching Tobio make throw after throw. She couldn't help but notice, with a sort of pride that had never been characteristic of her before she had a child, that none of the other kids got it in as much as Tobio.

That, though, turned out to be the problem with this one. Not only did Tobio not want to do anything other than throwing the ball, but his skill at it distanced him from the others. Because of this, the biggest lesson Basketball afforded wasn’t to Tobio at all. It was Aoino who was left to realize that she had been wrong about Tobio when they first meet. He didn’t have that same ‘go with the flow’ type attitude that characterized her and her husband. In actuality, Tobio was a reacher. Even in little games of tossing, Tobio had such a drive to win that he tended to ignore his teammates. While the other kids goofed off and talked to each other, he would throw the ball at the hoop... alone.

She found herself in a strange situation. He wasn’t any closer to children his own age, but he did seem to light up when he threw that basketball at things (not always the hoop, as his bedroom wall could attest to). Aoino figured that what she was looking for was a sport where he could throw to others. Thinking of the blocking issue, something non-contact would be nice. Something like a baseball pitcher or…

“Volleyball,” she read aloud to herself from the colorful flier. It was advertising a new junior league with classes not too far from their home. She hadn’t seen a volleyball game since she was in high school, but she knew the basic rules well enough. There was a lot of sort-of tossing and you had to pay attention to your teammates since they basically threw the ball to each other, right?

When Tobio was seven, Aoino took him out of basketball and put him in volleyball classes.

It was like she had opened a floodgate.

Her little Tobio went from near silent to downright talkative.

“Did you know volleyball was in-invenan- invenente…” He paused, mouthing the word to himself.

“Invented?” Aoino suggested. Tobio looked up at her with a not-altogether-friendly expression and continued to mouth the word to himself.

“In-ven-ted. Did you know volleyball was in-ven-ted--” he looked up at her with a questioning tilt of the head and she nodded-- “in 1895? That’s a super long time ago.”

“I didn’t. Yes, it is.”

...

“Did you know they play volleyball in the Olym… Olympics? Do you think I could play volleyball in the Olympics?”

“I did. And I think maybe one day you could, if you practice very very hard.”

...

“Did you know the longest ever game of volleyball was more than three whole days? I wish I could play volleyball for three days,”

“What about eating and sleeping?”

“Mmmm… maybe I could take breaks to eat, sometimes, but sleeping isn’t as good as volleyball.”

When he was eleven, after many wide-eyed begging looks, they even took him to a big professional game. If volleyball hadn’t caught him before then, there was no doubt afterward that Tobio would be a volleyball player. A “setter! Did you see that set? It went like, ‘woosh’ all the way across the court!” to be exact.

In the end, Tobio didn’t lose that drive to succeed that she had first noticed in basketball. He was distant even to his teammates. But he was forced to acknowledge them more as he tossed to them. He even approached other kids if they did anything he found impressive (granted, that wasn’t too often). None of that ended up mattering, though, because even if the social experience had been disastrous, Aoino wouldn’t have had the heart to pull him out. She wasn’t even sure she would have the power. Volleyball was Kageyama Tobio’s first love. It was clear to her from that first month that even as a small child, he had a passion that she doubted she and her husband had ever felt in their lives.

So sports didn’t end up being what she expected for Tobio. It didn't buy him friendship and was lax on human connection, but her goal had always been, beyond anything, to make Tobio happy. Even if things didn’t go as planned, the results were satisfying enough.

Yet, the unexpected nature of her satisfaction meant her worries were never assuaged.

As he grew older, Tobio’s friends continued to be far and few between. Even when he made them, they tended to be shallow bonds. He used a brutal efficiency to exclude anyone who wouldn’t play volleyball with him at all hours of the day.

As the years passed, Aoino sometimes wondered if she had ended up doing more harm than good by introducing her son to the competitive world of sports. She worried that his behavior crossed the tentative border between passionate and obsessive.

“Tobio, dinner,” she called out to him from the sliding door of the backyard. They had a small paved space there that Tobio had drawn dusty chalk rectangles on. She hadn’t known it was possible to practice something like volleyball on your own, but he seemed to be managing. Tobio paused from where he was about to toss the ball and looked over at her, giving a silent nod. “And don’t forget to pick up that bottle,” she added, watching one get knocked over by the light breeze.

“Okay.” Tobio brought the ball down to his chest and wandered in the direction of the rolling bottle. Aoino retreated back inside.

“He was still practicing,” she mentioned to Makito, who was shifting down to sit at the table. He shrugged.

“Athletes practice for hours daily, from what I understand,”

“He’s in junior high, and he already practiced for hours at school. For him to come home and practice more… That doesn’t seem healthy. What if he’s overworking himself? I read online that could be a sign of depression or some kind of unhealthy coping mechanism.” She brought one hand to her neck and the other to her elbow. Makito stood up with deliberate movements and edged closer.

“Do you want me to…” He made a vague gesture with his arms and she huffed as she stepped in closer. She understood his hesitance and sometimes worried that he was uncomfortable with her no longer being as non-tactile as when they married. He helped quiet those fears, though, when he began to rub soothing circles on her back. “What would he be coping with?” He asked against her hair.

“Loneliness? When was the last time he brought home a friend? I thought joining a school volleyball club would introduce him to people as passionate about it as he is, and he could bond with them. There have to be kids as serious as him, right?”

“As serious as he is about volleyball, maybe, but maybe not in general. He’s a pretty serious kid. Doesn’t smile much. Only has one hobby.”

“That’s what I’m saying! That can’t be healthy.” She pushed both of her hands against his chest so she could look him in the eye.

“Maybe, but he doesn’t seem unhappy. Volleyball makes him happy,” he said. Aoino exhaled and rested her head against the scratchy material of his shirt. One of the buttons poked at her cheekbone.

“I guess… but I don’t think a sport can substitute a friend, no matter how much he loves it,”

“Maybe you can’t experience it the way he does. You know he works differently than us. Maybe, for him, it really is enough.”

Aoino gripped on tighter to his shirt. She couldn’t have explained it if asked, but she didn’t want to accept that. Even though both she and Makito were introverts by nature and didn’t have many friends, they had some. They also had each other. She knew things were different for Tobio, but she still couldn’t help but feel he needed more people in his life. They were a small family, just the three of them and, at a stretch, Makito’s scarcely contacted father. As a result, Tobio’s world had been small for most of his life. They were all but the sole examples of adulthood and healthy behavior in Tobio’s life. She would be the first to admit that dynamic wasn’t… great. Though she and Makito tried, neither of them were particularly wordy, tactile, or good with expressing emotion. She didn’t want Tobio to grow up thinking it wasn’t okay to show emotions, or not knowing how to handle them because he didn’t have any sort of model in his life. The more columns of support he had, the less likely that would happen.

“I don’t know. If he had just one friend… just one. I’d feel much better,”

“Junior high has only just started and he’s not the only serious kid out there. He might meet someone as serious as he is who doesn't smile too much and maybe that person won’t play volleyball, but they’ll be content to sit quietly and watch or throw him a few balls. Don’t worry so much. Tobio hasn’t found his kind of person yet, someone as reserved as he is who will understand where he’s coming from.”

From what Aoino had seen, Tobio seemed to tire of people before he had spent an hour in their company. Someone as quiet and reserved as him, someone who wouldn’t drain him, would be exactly what he needed.

“Okaasan, otosan?” Tobio was standing near the staircase tilting his head at them with his wet hair pasted to his forehead. “Are you okay?”

“We’re fine, Tobio-chan.” Aoino stood up straighter. “Did you run a towel through your hair? You’re going to get sick like that!” She scolded with a small smile. Tobio looked down and kicked a foot. “Dry off and then help me get dinner,” she sighed good-naturedly. Tobio nodded and ran off. Aoino shared a fond look with her husband as her heart warmed her to every inch of skin.

Once they started their meal, Aoino couldn’t help but think about her and Makito’s conversation.

“How was practice at school today, Tobio?” Tobio looked up at her in alarm, with an equally alarming amount of food puffing up his cheeks. Honestly. She had taught him better manners than that. He had such an appetite.

“It was good,” he managed after he swallowed. “We did a three-on-three today, and Oikawa-san was amazing. He got two of his really powerful jump serves in perfectly and nobody could touch them. And one of his set’s was from a bad position on the court, but he still managed to--”

Aoino listened to Tobio continue on about volleyball with a smile on her face. Makito was right, Tobio didn’t seem unhappy. Volleyball created this spark in his eye that seemed to negate the need for anything else. Still, when he finished his account she couldn't help but give her usual advice.

“Have you tried talking to Oikawa-kun yet?”

“I don't want to mess up his practice,” Tobio said with an even tone and flat eyes as he shifted through his food. Ever since Tobio had come home with every other sentence about practice ending in ‘Oikawa-san this’ and ‘Oikawa-senpai that,’ Aoino had been trying to get him to befriend the older boy. The age difference was only two years, and from Tobio’s stories, it seemed he was as passionate about volleyball as Tobio was. That was something they could become friends over even if he wasn’t the sort of serious person Tobio was. Tobio, however, though he acted confident, was unnaturally hesitant about the idea. In usual circumstances, he was pretty blunt even with people who were good at volleyball. She could only assume he admired Oikawa to the point of a pedestal. It would be good for Tobio to try conversing with him. Tobio's conversations were ninety percent volleyball. If they both liked it that much they wouldn't run out of topics.

“Why don’t you practice with him?” Makito offered. At the same time, he looked at Aoino out of the corner of his eye and gave her a lifted eyebrow for her meddling.

“Otosan is right,” Aoino agreed, “How about you ask him to teach you something? He is your senpai, after all… Maybe he’ll teach you that jump serve.”

Tobio looked at her with eyes shining and she knew she had convinced him.

“Okay. We have a practice match tomorrow. I’ll stay late and ask him after,” he said.

“Good idea,” Aoino encouraged. She smiled at the excited look-- lips pressed together and lifted at only the ends, eyes sparkling-- on Tobio’s face.

This was the one.

She could feel it.

…

…

…

“Did you ask?”

“Yes.”

“What happened?”

“... I don’t know.”

Aoino knew that was a cue for ‘he answered, but in a way that I didn’t understand.’

“Oh, that’s too bad. I had hoped you could become friends.” She slumped and Tobio looked at her with startled eyes. "Maybe you could ask him to re-phrase? Or you could ask in a different way?" She suggested.

“Don’t worry. I’m going to keep trying… I want him to lik-- teach me.”

But he didn’t mention Oikawa again.

Aoino didn’t ask.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only a day off from being exactly a month since the first update. Honestly, I'm pretty proud of myself.  
> Baby Tobio is growing up. :-( What a truly sad day.  
> Anyway, tell me what you think! I'd appreciate it if you went ahead and left a review.  
> (also, bless Iwa-chan for saving Tobio's cute little face)


	3. Loneliness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Middle school is ending for Tobio. We all know what that means. Aiono, unfortunately, is not so prepared.

Junior high had not been good for Tobio.

Aoino’s instinctive worries about his isolation and consuming passion for volleyball had proven well founded. Whereas before she had let it go because he was at least happy, she didn’t know if she could say that was still true. He practiced volleyball with ever-increasing fervor, but that content expression he had used to wear whenever he managed to get his hands around a ball had turned into something sterner. Something harder. Whereas he had always been blunt, he had also cared about the consequences of his words. If Aoino told him he had said something rude or hurtful, he apologized even if he didn't understand why and attempted not to do it again. These days he seemed to pay little attention to emotional response. He paid little attention to anything that he didn’t think would make him better at volleyball. There was a way he looked at people now-- like they either didn’t matter or were nothing but annoyances and roadblocks-- that Aoino sometimes worried went beyond the natural way his face had set since he was a small child. Sometimes... sometimes she even thought there was real disdain there.

As his mother, Aoino knew it was her responsibility to do something. This was a behavior she should be curbing and correcting. But how exactly she was supposed to do that...

Half the time she felt she should scold him for his dismissive and cold attitude. The other half of her felt like that would only make things worse. She didn't know where to draw the line. If she scolded him every time he tried to express himself in curt or rude ways, it would only push him away. She knew his behavior wasn't often out of malice. He didn't understand why his honest words hurt sometimes, and she didn't want to hurt him in return. If he stopped being able to be himself around her... who would be left? Wouldn't he be alone? Maybe... maybe it was more important in this instance to be a friend instead of a parent. Which did he need more? How could she choose? She felt like she didn't have the right to correct his behavior. It was her fault. She should have done more. She should have arranged more playdates when he was younger. She should have kept putting him in activities until he made a friend. Just one good friend.

That wasn’t an excuse, though, right? That was no excuse for treating others poorly. Except he didn’t do that either. He, mostly, ignored them. He came home from practice and practiced more in their backyard. On weekends he went to practice and then came straight home. Occasionally, he went to the park. She liked to imagine that he sometimes found people who he joined in games there (but she knew it wasn’t true. Tobio would never put up with anyone playing volleyball for ‘fun’).

And at night… at night he had nightmares. She heard them sometimes. Tobio had always been a child prone to vivid dreams, usually bad ones. His pediatrician had told her he should grow out of it with age, but he was fourteen now and sometimes when she checked on him in the night it was only to find his face pinched or his breathing labored.

He never offered them up, but neither did he try and hide them. When she asked, he told her about their existence, but he also claimed not to remember what they were about. Tobio was a very honest child, and, for the most part, she believed him. Still, something about the way his hands would sit with forced stillness on his thighs when they talked about it rubbed her the wrong way.

Aoino thought about her choices as she replaced her shoes with slippers after arriving home from work. It was the week of the junior high spring tournament and she had taken half days for the next three evenings so she could be home to great Tobio. She didn't know how to be his friend and his parent. She was ashamed with herself for creating a situation where she had to be both, but either way, she couldn't go wrong in supporting his volleyball.

Once Aoino had changed, she headed into the kitchen to prepare him a meal. Something high in protein.

It was an hour before the front door opened again.

“I’m home.”

“Tobio-chan, how were your games?” Aoino listened as he replaced his shoes and then watched Tobio as he walked into the kitchen, attempting to gage his mood. She was glad to see he didn’t look or sound disappointed.

“We won them both.” He removed his team jacket from over his white t-shirt and sat on a stool as she put a plate in front of him. "Thank you,"

“Did you have fun?”

He looked up at her and was silent for a moment, brows furrowed. Tobio had a habit of thinking about his emotions and she watched him with a fond heart as he unraveled them. Finally, he nodded.

“I… the teams we faced weren’t very good and I know my teammates can do better. But… I got to play volleyball.” His eyes widened and his mouth twitched, and she knew that was his version of a beaming grin. She smiled back.

“Did you meet anyone interesting?”

She didn’t miss the strange expression that crossed Tobio’s face. Something warm inside her dared to hope.

“The captain of the first team we faced…” Tobio’s face scrunched up again.

“He was very good?” Aoino prompted. She couldn’t imagine anything else catching Tobio’s calculating eyes.

“No. He was awful.”

Aoino blinked. Tobio, however, nodded to himself and concentrated on his snack as if that explained everything.

The second day went like the first. When she asked if he had met anyone he said ‘no’ as usual and she sighed somewhere in her soul.

Waiting for him to arrive the third day was the most nerve-racking. At this point, his team had either won or they hadn’t, and Tobio was always so upset when they lost. It often led to a night of him practicing in the backyard until she forced him inside by shutting off the house’s lights. At that point, he got angry and, through a long string of events involving his fiery temper, ended up not allowed to play volleyball for a few days (the only effective punishment she had). That, in turn, made him angrier and he stopped talking for a while.

It didn't happen every time, but it was a disaster when it did. She was always second-guessing herself. Was it okay to take away his only hobby as a form of discipline? It sounded awful, but it was the only punishment that worked. There were times in the past where he would go so far as to throw things in his anger and that couldn't go unchecked. He was still a child now, but Aoino and Makito refused to raise him into that kind of man.

They were messing this up all over the place, weren't they? She could only hope not. Tobio deserved better.

Aoino sighed as she waited under the kotatsu table with a book, and a glass of warm milk and a protein snack ready for Tobio. She was ready to talk him through it whether he had won or lost. She was ready to feel all the emotions that came with either case. No matter what, she loved him. She would do her best to make sure he knew it. She was ready. Or so she thought.

The door opened.

She knew what the result had been when no ‘I’m home’ reached her. She sighed and waited for his footsteps.

They didn’t come. Instead, something hit the plaster. Aoino frowned and stood up.

“Tobio-chan?” She asked in concern as she rounded the corner. Her eyes widened.

He had only made it as far as getting his shoes off, slippers still in their place. Tobio himself was sitting scrunched up against the wall, his gym bag held against his chest by his knees and arms with his head ducked into its dark fabric.

For a moment the only sounds where the pipes somewhere and the echo of Aoino's concern. Then there was a desperate intake of air.

Aoino rushed forward and stumbled to her knees beside him, the rough impact jarring her aging joints.

“Tobio-chan, Tobio, what’s wrong? What happened?”

Even if they had lost, this behavior was unusual. In his first year, they had lost in the finals and he had come home upset but dry-eyed. Last year they lost in the semi-finals and he had been more angry than anything else. Crying... crying was new.

Another one of those ugly gasped sobs sounded and Aoino rested an arm over his shoulders, giving him room to shrug away if he wanted.

“Tobio, talk to me, please,”

Was this because it was his last year? Maybe it was nothing but him feeling the end of an era, so to speak.

He looked up at her. She didn't know if it relieved her to see that Tobio wasn’t actually crying. Not technically. Either way, his eyes were wide and unfocused while his mouth was trembling, hanging open as he struggled to take in air. He shook his head and she moved forward so she could rub at his back with stilted motions (was this right? Should she hug him to her? She wanted to, but would he be comfortable with that? He had never been consistent about it in the past).

“It’s okay, Tobio-chan, it’s okay…” She felt again that awful feeling of a mother’s true helplessness. She didn’t even know what to say. She wanted to tell him it was just a game. If it were her or Makito at that age she would have said it. To say that to Tobio though… it seemed wrong, cruel, even. Volleyball wasn’t ‘just a game’ to Tobio.

Volleyball was his best friend.

It was as she patted his head and ran her fingers through his soft thin hair, wishing she could say anything to make it better, that she realized Tobio was mumbling into his gym bag.

“... there was no one there, Kaasan. There was no one there…”

Her eyes stung. She didn’t know the context, she still didn't know what had happened, but those words were enough to make her understand. The day she had dreaded for so long was here.

Tobio had finally realized he was lonely. And there was nothing she could do about it.

The next time he told her he didn’t remember his nightmares, his eyes shifted and she knew he was lying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Parenting is hard. There are so many fine lines to be drawn and it's impossible for anyone to get them all right. I hope I have portrayed Aiono as a realistic maternal figure. There is a dichotomy in fiction of either completely horrible parents or unrealistically perfect parents who always know exactly what their children need at any moment. I wanted to make Aiono someone who tries her best and has rightfully earned the love of her child, but questions her decisions and makes a lot of mistakes along the way as well. I myself am not a parent, so if anyone is I'd be interested to hear your take on my portrayal. Even if you're not, opinions always appreciated. :-)


	4. Introspection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post-junior high, pre-high school was an interesting time for Tobio. Not necessarily a bad thing, Aiono thought, not all the time... still, she hoped it was over soon.

Aoino never got much detail about what happened in Tobio’s last tournament of junior high.

After he had quieted down that evening, he had retreated into his room without saying more on the subject. He didn’t practice or go outside at all for the rest of the day. Every time she went up to bring him water or food he was curled up on his bed, back to the door. She told him she was there if he wanted, and gave him his space. She hoped the time would help him process whatever he was thinking so he could better deal with it.

That night she told Makito what had happened, and he had agreed it might be best to give Tobio space. Both of them spent a long portion of the night with the television on low, futilely hoping for the sound of footsteps on the stairs. 

The next day he emerged from his room with almost no signs of yesterday’s hurt. Aoino was his mother though. She knew better. With Tobio less was more. He spoke more sparsely than usual. His eyes stayed focused, none of the shine that indicated his version of a smile. He went from not having much to say, to not saying much. They were small differences, inconsequential for some, but the world for Tobio.

She didn’t know what to do. She didn’t know what to tell him, how to make it better, how to get a better understanding of what had happened without upsetting him further… She was tempted to read the junior sports section of the small local paper-- she knew they had printed an article about the tournament semifinals-- but that seemed too much like an invasion of his privacy. Would he mind? For one of the few times since Tobio had come into their lives, Aoino regretted that he was so different from her and her husband. It left her unable to decide what action would be best by him in situations like these. 

And so she made herself a quiet column of support and hoped it was enough.

A few days into the preceding summer, after Shiratorizawa rejected him, Tobio brought up the event for the first and last time… though not is so many words. 

“Okaasan, Otosan…” 

“Yes?”

“Do I treat people like subjects?”

“What?”

“Am I... cruel?” His eyes were digging into them, but Aoino and Makito could see the vulnerability visible in the grip on his chopsticks and the tautness of his throat. Aoino’s first instinct was to deny, to do anything to get that expression off his face, but… she knew it wasn’t what would be best for Tobio.

She looked over to Makito and they exchanged a mutual understanding. They both knew what needed to be said. But, like her, Makito wanted to do nothing less than say it. How could they, to Tobio's vulnerable posture? 

Makito opened his mouth first.

“How do you define ‘cruel’, Tobio?” Tobio looked some concoction of confused and devastated that caused his lower lip to tremble, his chin to tilt up, and his brow to furrow.

“I guess, um, as someone mean. Someone who hurts other people,” he forced out before swallowing and trying to relax his features. Makito hummed.

“Well, see, I think there’s a difference,”

“A difference?”

"Cruelty implies intent.” Tobio tilted his head. Makito hummed and squinted at nothing, trying to find the words. To be cruel, you have to want to be mean, or at least know that you’re being mean and not care.”

Tobio scrunched up his eyes and looked down at his plate. They sat in silence. 

“Those are different things,” he finally whispered among the clacking of plastic on plastic. “Wanting to be mean and not caring that you’re mean are two different things,” he decided and looked up at Makito with sad eyes. “Which one makes you cruel?”

Makito looked at her in panic. 

“But you didn’t know,” she reminded. Tobio switched his focus to her. “If you knew you were mean, you wouldn’t be asking us now. So you didn’t know and, more importantly, you do care. Now that you have the idea that you were being cruel, you care that you were. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have asked. You’re not cruel, Tobio.”

“So? I’m mean, but that’s okay because I’m not cruel? I don’t think it made a difference to them!” Tobio snarled, frustration leaking out of everything from his tone to his tense back curled over his food. His hot temper was another aspect of his personality Aoino and Makito couldn’t relate to. However, their dispositions made them particularly adept at dealing with it. 

“That wasn’t my point.” Makito corrected, “My point was that you may have done some mean things, but I don’t think you did them with the intent to hurt anyone…” He left a silence, but Tobio said nothing, looking at his hand squeezing his chopsticks like he was going to stab his food with them. Makito didn’t let it faze him. “That doesn’t make it okay, but it makes it… redeemable. You made some mistakes, but now you know that you did something wrong, and you can correct it.”

“Otasan is right, Tobio-chan. I think what you’re asking is if you’re a bad person. You’re not. Not if you didn’t mean to hurt anyone and you’ve learned from your mistakes and are sorry now that you made them.”

Tobio nodded once, still deep in thought and trying hard to keep his emotions bottled up. Aoino knew the conversation was over. Any other development would have to come from Tobio. That didn’t stop her and Makito from shuffling over and laying a hand on each of his arms while his mouth trembled.

“We love you, Tobio, even if you make a thousand mistakes. Don’t forget that. And… I don’t know what exactly happened, but I don’t think it’s anything that you can't fix with an apology.”

She watched him nod with his eyes shut tight and she squeezed just a bit tighter.

Tobio was different after that and... not completely in a bad way. With something that could be intent, he worked his way back into, if not mincing his words-- she didn’t think him capable of such-- then at least realizing when he did damage and attempting to avoid it. However clumsily. Aoino didn’t have much proof, but she thought he was less aggressive. At the very least, when he practiced volleyball there was less of that coldness in his eyes, though the original spark didn’t return either. 

There was something less harsh about him and Aoino allowed herself to think that maybe, despite the horrible pain it caused and despite how bad she felt thinking it, what had happened had been good for Tobio. It gave him perspective and maybe even an understanding of empathy. She allowed herself to think that with a layer taken off his harsh shell, and a new start at a new school where it was unlikely any of his previous teammates would go, that maybe, maybe this time…

Ahh, but junior high had disillusioned her as much as it had Tobio. It was never that easy for him when it came to others, even when he wasn’t actively aggressive. His decreased aggressiveness hadn’t come with increased understanding. Where before he might have said something harsh, he now said nothing at all. Aoino worried he didn’t know how to socialize at all now that he was giving up such a large aspect of his communication technique. She worried that to make up for the loss of some of the layers on his shell, he was retreating even further inwards.

His nightmares didn’t stop, he didn’t eat as much.

He practiced volleyball a bit less.

Aoino was afraid he had traded in one type of unhealthy for another.

Still...

“Another nice quiet player, that’s all I ask. Someone who won’t ask much of him and won’t mind if he sometimes becomes too aggressive or too silent. Please,” she prayed.

It couldn’t hurt to ask. 

Her prayers wouldn’t be answered, but only because she wasn’t asking for the right thing. She never realized that quiet was the last thing Tobio needed. 

He was a harsh shadow. What he needed was a comparably strong light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter, but next time...  
> Enter: Sunshine.
> 
> Also, i think one of the things that amaze me the most about Haikyuu is how much character development you can see in Kags between literally the first and second episode because of an event we didn't even really see. I can't explain it better, but it's so tangible while still having a consistent characterization and i love it.


	5. Discovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata Shouyou was everything Kageyama Aoino never could have expected and nothing she could have thought to ask for.  
> He was also everything Tobio needed.

The first time Aoino heard of Hinata Shouyou (well, the first time she was aware that he was who she was hearing about), Tobio hardly seemed to realize she had no idea who he was. 

She supposed that was somewhat her fault. Tobio never offered up information, so it fell on her to ask. Every day, the question of if he had made any friends buffeted her mind, but she had been too afraid to ask. Now that Tobio knew he was lonely, she felt the answer could only hurt him if it was no. So she had stayed quiet.

The result was having no idea that she no longer had to carry the heavy weight of worry and regret on her shoulders. That is, until one inauspicious Tuesday evening as her small family sat gathered around the table. 

“Okaasan, Otosan, can Hinata stay the weekend? We want more time to practice our quicks before inter-high, and Hinata can get to the gym earlier and leave later if he doesn’t have to bike the mountain.”

The entire world realigned itself around Aoino. She had no idea who Hinata was, though she could infer he was a teammate of Tobio’s, but if he were willing to put up with someone in his own house for an entire weekend, then it might be alright to assume...

“And who is Hinata?” Aoino asked. She supposed she sounded a bit too eager, since Makito snorted into his soup.

Tobio blinked at her with a hint of concern, as if she had asked who the Prime Minister was.

“Hinata. Hinata Shouyou,” he attempted to clarify in that same confused tone.

“I’m guessing he’s a teammate of yours?” Makito asked. Tobio turned towards his father and it finally seemed to settle in that they had no idea who Hinata Shouyou was. 

He nodded his head in two definitive, but somehow still enthusiastic, bobs. 

“Hinata is a middle blocker, he’s not very good yet, but he wants to be the ace someday. I think he will be if he works on not being such a du-- if he learns a bit more technique,”

“He must be something if you want him to stay over,” Makito hinted. Tobio looked down while nodding and flipped over two of his cucumber slices. His read ears were the last detail that clued Aoino into the fact that Tobio had a genuine attachment to this Hinata. It wasn’t only Tobio’s embarrassment, but that he knew this other boy’s dreams and aspirations. That he believed he could achieve them despite, purportedly, not being a very good player. The Tobio of a few months ago wouldn’t have given more than a second glance to someone who was ‘not very good yet.’ Much less enough attention to help them reach their potential or know what their dreams were. 

This wasn’t exclusively about volleyball.

Her heart burst. That was the only thing that could explain the warmth that flooded her.

“Yes, of course he can stay over. I’d be so happy to meet him.” She should have consulted with Makito, she knew that, and she would apologize to him later. For now, however, the glow in Tobio’s eyes and the twitch to his lips prevented her from being very sorry.

“Thank you, Okaasan.”

“So Hinata bikes over the mountain every day?” she asked as an excuse to fish more information out of Tobio-chan. “He must be strong,”

“It’s good training. Hinata has more endurance than anyone. He always continues to practice with me after everyone leaves, when the captain will let us. I haven’t seen him tired yet. When we were at training camp we raced up one of the mountain roads and he got lost because he went too far ahead of the group,”

“He accidentally ran too far uphill?” Makito questioned, his tone colored impressed. Tobio shrugged, still looking away. 

“He’s a bit of an idiot,”

“Tobio!” 

“Sorry, Okaasan.” Well, she couldn’t expect him to become the perfect friend overnight. Still, he should know better than to insult people behind their backs. She could only hope Hinata-kun had the patience of a saint.

…:::*:::...

The closer it got to Friday, the more nervous Aoino became. 

“Oh, what do you think he’s like, Makito? What if he doesn’t like dinner? What if he doesn’t like us? What if we don’t like him? What if he’s too quiet and is actually a bad influence on Tobio and they stop talking to other people altogether? What if we have to separate Tobio from his fi-- from a friend” --- because saying ‘first’ was too heart wrenching (and not even true. He had friends when he was a kid, the way all kids do. Friend’s of proximity rather than interest, and they had been good for him and they had tried to include him even though he spent a lot of time staring at them and couldn’t understand how hard it was appropriate to push someone when playing tag… they hadn’t been long friendships). 

“Ah, how about we worry about those things when it comes to it?” Makito suggested. Aoino chuckled a bit. She knew she was being a bit ridiculous, but she appreciated him for not pointing it out. 

“I know. I just… I want this to work out,”

“They’re already friends, remember. If Tobio’s willing to let him stay over and if he's are willing to stay, it probably means it’s not a friendship that’s going to end over a bad dinner. And they play in a team sport. They can’t retreat too far into themselves.” Aoino gave him a pointed look, he rubbed the back of his neck. “Er, I mean, Tobio said Hinata wasn’t that good, right? Tobio was allowed to do what he did because he was the best player. Hinata probably has to rely on some good will, though. So if Hinata can’t afford to retreat into himself, then at the very least he can’t pull Tobio further in.”

Aoino acquiesced to his point.

“I guess we’ll have to wait and see.”

…:::*:::...

There always come a few times in your life when you’re reminded how wrong you can be, how blind assumptions in your own correctness can make you.

The first time Aoino meet Hinata Shouyou, Tobio hardly seemed to realize how different his behavior became or why Aoino was so surprised.

Aoino and her husband were in the kitchen Friday evening when the door opened and an “I’m home” was drowned out by a louder, “Sorry for the intrusion!” 

Tobio and his friend turned into the hall and were visible to her.

The first thing she got wrong about Hinata Shouyou was his appearance. It was silly of her to imagine that the sort of stern dark looks that Tobio, Makito, and she had always had to accompany a quiet personality. Still, she thought the burst of bright orange hair would have been surprising to anyone, regardless of what they had assumed of his personality.

He was also rather...short, almost comically so next to Tobio. She thought she could be better excused for that error. It wasn't strange to assume a volleyball player, particularly one that Tobio described to her as athletic with a lot of stamina, would have a body that reflected that. But he stood below Aiono and Makito's lines of sight, and Tobio already towered over the two of them. Hinata's round face and big childlike eyes made him look like he could hardly be in high school at all.

Most surprising, though, was the large unabashed grin that rested on his features as he greeted them, his voice loud and explosive and not at all reserved. 

“Hello, Kageyama’s dad and Kageyama’s mom, Nice to meet you!” He rocked back and forth on his heels and looked all around the house. Tobio stood behind him, silent, but looking down at the other boy with the strangest expression. One a lot like the one he used to get when he held a volleyball. Still pretty apathetic looking, but…

“Nice to meet you too, Hinata,” Makito answered,

“Of course,” she added with a smile and nod. Although she didn’t know how much her naturally subdued expressions could count as a ‘smile’ in the face of Hinata’s answering beam. 

“Thank you, and call me Shouyou!”

“Alright, Shouyou,” Aoino laughed a little. He was very enthusiastic, to say the least. Nothing like Tobio… though, if that enthusiasm extended to volleyball...

Hinata, still bouncing, looked back at Tobio and then at them and back at Tobio.

“Hmph. How can someone so ‘grrrrr’ have parents so nice?” He asked Tobio with a stern countenance. Aoino panicked as Tobio’s features contorted into something rather unpleasant, a far cry from the neutral apathy he had displayed in the last few months. Before her thoughts could develop much past that, he had already lashed out. She didn’t know what to do when Shouyou-kun ducked with a laugh and a practiced ease, not seeming at all bothered by the aggression. “You’re so rude, Kageyama!” Tobio put his hand back in his pocket and snorted, but… not in a frustrated way. If anything, it was… playful. 

Roughhousing. Tobio was roughhousing. 

Aoino smiled, and this time she thought, just maybe, it would match up with Shouyou’s. 

“Dinner’s all ready, let’s go ahead and eat.”

The more Aoino got to know Shouyou-chan, the more amazed she became. If she had to pick one person she knew who was as opposite her little boy as possible, she thought she had found her prime contender. Shouyou was… sunny, she supposed was the best way to describe it. He complimented every component of his dinner, beamed as he answered any question, and pretty much vibrated as he carried the conversation at their usually tranquil dinner table.

If there was a thing he was like Tobio in, though, it was his enthusiasm for volleyball. He expressed it in much grander gestures and unrestrained excitement than Tobio ever could, but he had the same kind of feeling when he talked about it that Tobio did. 

“-- and you know Kageyama-kun is an amazing setter! He sets the ball to me like ‘woosh’ and I can’t even see it but it still hits my palm and I go ‘wham!’ and it feels amazing! It’s amazing! But you’re his parents, so you know he’s amazing!”

Aoino couldn’t help but smile back. Anyone who could speak so warmly of her Tobio-chan was practically perfect, she decided. It helped that when she looked over to Tobio she had to lift her hand over her mouth to hide her laugh. She’d never seen someone look so perfect a mix of flattered and angry. For a moment, she thought he was five years old again and realizing his toy wasn’t where he left it, with his cheeks puffed out in indignation but his gaze gentle and confused while his face went red. He looked away from Shouyou and mumbled something that had the cadence of an insult but the posture of a thank you. 

Shouyou didn’t seem to notice any of it, still caught up in telling them more about their team and gym and senpais and rivals than they’d ever know if Tobio was left up to the task. Tobio didn't say much, but he nodded and grunted with enthusiasm. Aoino caught Makito’s eye and they both understood each other’s silent amusement at their son’s sudden timidness.

“--and I hope we win Inter-high because then we’ll get to face Neko! That’d be awesome! Right Kageyama?”

“Of course, ba--” he shot a furtive glance at her and Makito as if it wasn’t obvious what he had been about to say. She gave him back a stern look for show, but in reality, she already knew it was playful between the two of them. “I’d want to win Inter-high either way. But I would like to face Nekoma again. Their setter is interesting,”

“Kenma-kun, you mean! Ya, he’s nothing like you! You’re all ‘grrrr’--” Shouyou made claws in the air and snapped his teeth like some kind of hostile wolverine “--and Kenma-kun’s all ‘aahhhh.” He switched the motion into a stretching yawn with his hands above his head and his eyes settling into a drowsy looking half-lidded position. “But that makes him really good at fakes! Remember when he did that dump?”

“Yes, his form was good and he looked so uninterested I never would have guessed he was paying that much attention.” His tone was louder than usual and there was a light in Tobio’s eyes that has been long missing from his gaze as he explained. He was talking to Shouyou, but his eyes flickered to them every so often, and Aoino knew he was trying to get them to understand his enthusiasm as well. 

Aoino decided that she adored Hinata Shouyou. It became clear as they finished up that when he left a topic where Tobio could chime in, Tobio smiled a bit wider and his gestures were a bit bigger than they ever were when he tried to explain these things by himself. Aoino realized he was taking his cues from Shouyou, like the little redhead's open enthusiasm gave Tobio permission, or maybe even the ability, to be more openly expressive himself.

It was no surprise, really, not after spending more than ten minutes with Shouyou. His open enthusiasm made even her and Makito a bit more lively and talkative during their meal. He was honest, he was open, and he was passionate. All those things made him perfect for her Tobio, who was bad at emotions but responded to passion and always assumed honesty. 

Aoino smiled to herself as they collect the plates and piled them in the kitchen. She didn’t stop smiling as the boys ran outside to practice a bit before going upstairs to bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry. Have had this one written for a while, but it needed serious editing and rewrites, and with finals and finding something to do for the summer i didn't have the time. I'm still not completely satisfied with how this one turned out, but it's probably as good as it's going to get.  
> This was almost the last chapter, but since i'm so unsatisfied with it i wanted more. so, one more chapter involving the rest of Karasuno.  
> See you then!


	6. Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karasuno is everything Aoino, and Tobio, could have hoped for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took a little longer because I wasn't expecting six chapters. like i said last chapter, i was disappointed with it and wanted another. I'm so glad that happened, because I'm very very happy with how this final chapter turned out. I'm also pretty sure it's the longest chapter. Enjoy.

No matter how much Aoino or Makito tried, they couldn’t manage the time off work to watch Tobio and Shouyou in the regional championship. It left them both racked with guilt even if Tobio didn’t seem to care one way or another.

“Whether you’re there or not doesn’t change what we have to do to win.” Tobio blinked at her in confusion. Aoino sighed with a smile and patted Tobio’s head. He bent down to let her do it, still looking confused. 

“We might be able to catch the end of things, depending on how long the match is,” said Makito. A determined glint caught in Tobio’s eyes.

“It’s going to be a long match,” he promised as he straightened up. 

“Good.” Aoino nodded at him as she headed out for work. In the store, she turned the small television in the corner to Miyagi Local so she could sneak peeks at the live footage as she worked.

The day stretched out until every minute mimicked a month. In time, though, Aoino found it late enough to lock up her department early… just this once. 

‘off work. heading out to see Tobio now' she texted Makito while rushing through the parking lot. She used the other hand to search for her keys. Finding them, she got into the car and input the stadium in her GPS.

No one stood outside the low building when she got there, so she could only assume the game hadn't ended yet. She rushed inside to the sound of her own heels clicking against the tiles and almost nothing else. Was she in the right place? Was she wrong and the game had alread-- stomping feet and clapping hands and pitched screams rushed over her like an ocean wave.

Aoino rushed upstairs, following the signs to the bleachers. She arrived in the doorway in time to see her son and Shouyou-chan fall on top of each other with other members of their team, some of them crying. She glanced over to the opposing side to see those boys turning away from the net and trudging back to their coach. Despite the tears, she knew who won. Her heart ballooned with warmth and pride.

“Whoo! Go Karasuno! Great job Tobio! Shouyou!” She knew they couldn’t hear her over the thunderous audience, but she couldn’t keep it in. She didn’t even want to try. She brought her hands up to cup her mouth and felt damp patches under her eyes. Laughing at her own ridiculousness, she continued to cheer. She knew how important this game was to Tobio. She knew how important nationals and this team were to Tobio-chan. Seeing him succeed filled her with more emotions than she knew what to do with. 

The players headed out and the speakers announced the awards ceremony would take place soon.

Deciding to try and meet them when they left after the ceremony, Aoino walked back downstairs to find the lower level entrance to the court. Trickles of people loitered near the front and as she passed behind the front entrance, something caught her interest.

“Oikawa-kun.” She didn’t know why she called out to him. She recognized the two boys from the single picture of Tobio’s first middle school team. Seconds after that recognition, the name had already left her mouth. Too late to turn back now.

The taller of the boys flinched, fiddled with his glasses, and then began in a strange voice, “Sorry, you must have me conf-- Ow!” The shorter boy elbowed his friend in the stomach. She tried to remember if she knew his name, but even if Tobio had mentioned it she wouldn’t be able to attach it to a face. 

“Sorry about him, ma’am.” He said while assessing her. No doubt trying to figure out if he knew her.

“It’s no problem. I know this is sudden, but I wanted to introduce myself. My name is Kageyama. It’s very nice to finally meet you.” The boys blinked at her. Oikawa stopped rubbing his stomach and his eyes widened.

“You’re Tobio-chan’s mom?” he asked. The other boy sighed. 

“Tobio-chan?” She laughed, raising an eyebrow. Oikawa smiled back. He was a handsome boy, wasn’t he? And very tall, she thought as she craned her neck to look up at him. But she was used to Tobio towering over her anyway.

“Can we do something for you, Kageyama-san?” He asked, voice smooth. 

“I wanted to meet you formally at least once. Tobio used to talk about you all the time when he started junior high. It was always Oikawa-san this and Oikawa-senpai that.” She shook her head. It would probably embarrass Tobio if he learned she shared this, so best to move on. “He looked up to you. My husband and I tried to get him to talk to you more, something about a… a jump serve, I think? But I suppose he never found the right words. Do you remember?”

Oikawa stared at her, mouth opening and then closing again. He looked over to his friend, who crossed his arms and gave him a heavy look back as if to say he was on his own. Aoino frowned. It didn’t take superior social awareness to realize she missed something.

“I… He never… he never said anything else about me?”

“No. He only talked about how you were an excellent setter… Is there something I should know?”

“I... “ He looked to his friend again, who continued to stare without pity. But after a few more seconds he sighed and took out his phone, scrolling through it and showing her the screen.

“Kageyama-san, is this still Kageyama’s number?” She read it and nodded. “Thank you. Kageyama did ask Oikawa about his jump serve, but there was a misunderstanding. Not his fault. He was a good kid, always trying to learn from his senpai, even if he didn’t talk much. We’re happy for him and Karasuno.” Oikawa made a sound in his throat, but Aoino figured that must have been the truth since they did show up to the game, after all. Then again, they weren’t waiting for the awards ceremony. But why would they cheer for the other school? Ah, she supposed she didn’t know them well enough to know. “Thank you for coming to say hello,”

“Yes, thank you!” Oikawa added, chipper again but… off. “It’s always nice to meet my precious kohais’ parents! Oh, look, our bus is here. Thank you again!” As they walked away, the friend turned to her.

“I’m sure you’ll be busy celebrating, but if you have a moment with him please tell Kageyama to expect a call and to please answer. Thank you for talking to us.” His mouth twitched. "I think you helped him." Then he turned and followed Oikawa, giving him a swat on the head as they walked. Aoino stared after them, concerned and confused.

In the next moment, though, the speaker announced the start of the ceremony and she decided to let the strange encounter go. She stood in the doorway and cheered as an official placed a medal around Tobio’s and then Shouyou’s neck.

Everyone cheered one final time as the players bowed. Karasuno left the court shouting, still filled with energy despite dragging their feet and swaying as they walked. Tobio and another boy dragged little Shouyou forward by the arms. His smile could have lit up a palace.

“Congratulations, boys,” she said as the three of them walked past her among the group.

“Kageyama-san!” Shouyou shouted. He tripped over his feet, saved by one of his senpai grabbing him by the back of his shirt. 

“Why are you calling him ‘san’?” the other boy holding Shouyou’s arm said (why the orange jersey?).

“Idiot.” Said a voice from the back. Her son turned to her. 

“You did a great job, Tobio,” she said. He smiled at her, really smiled. She could see his teeth and his eyes crescented to the point they almost closed. Nothing forced, no effort, a relaxed satisfied smile.

Aoino hugged him.

In hindsight, not the best move. His jersey and skin stuck to her arms with sweat. The overall unpleasant experience led to her moving back in seconds. Before she did, though, his hands went up to pat her on the back twice. She smiled. 

The boy holding Shouyou up from behind secured him and turned to her, along with the rest of the team and coaches who started to notice her presence.

“Kageyama-san, did you see my last spike? It went like _blam_!”

“I missed the end of the match, but it’s recorded at home, so I’ll make sure to pay extra attention.”

“Yay!”

“Aren’t you going to introduce me to your team, Tobio?”

“Oh, um, yes.” Tobio turned to see that most of the team, plus a few relatives, Aoino assumed, had turned to them. “Everyone, this is my mom. Kassan, this is my team.”

Aoino sighed. Shouyou giggled.

“I can introduce you, Kageyama-san! These are our senpai’s, Daichi-san who’s the captain, and Suga-san who's the vice-captain, and Asahi-san, who’s the ace! Nishinoya-san is our libero! He makes super cool receives like Rolling Thunder!” Shouyou went on on that vein for a little while. He didn’t so much as point or gesture to anyone, though, in favor of making aimless motions with his hands. By the end of his introductions, Aoino knew a few names, but couldn’t connect them to any faces. 

“It’s nice to meet you all,” she said anyway. She received back various like sentiments and shallow bows. As they walked towards the school van, she listened to Shouyou recount the game.

“And we were like _whoosh_ and they were like _kerblam_ and then Kageyama sent me the ball like _swish_!”

“Hmm,”

“Kageyama-san?” When they arrived at the bus, one of the men in the group, one with bleached hair, called her attention.

“Yes?”

“Hello, I’m Ukai, the coach,”

“Oh, really? Hello.” She had assumed him a relative. Tobio had briefly described the coach to her as ‘some older guy’ and she had taken that to mean an old man. This man couldn’t be older than twenty-five. She found herself feeling aged by comparison, surrounded by teenagers and young adults… (wasn’t there a teacher too? Shouyou had mentioned him. She wondered which one it was. Maybe the tallest man with the blond hair? He had a teacherly vibe to him.) 

“Um, I’m taking the team out for food. You can follow. If you’d like,” 

“That sounds wonderful. I’ll call my husband and we’ll meet you there,”

Ukai-kun gave her the address and the boys headed out while she talked to Makito. He got off work and said he would be able to make it to the restaurant.

At the place, Aoino left Tobio to sit with his friends. She sat at the head of the table with Ukai and the other guests, four young men and a young woman. She left space for Makito and hoped he would arrive soon. When did she get so old?

Two younger girls also sat near her. Aoino assumed them to be the managers. She remembered Shouyou talking about both, but specifically how ‘super duper pretty, right, Kageyama?’ he found one of them. Looking at her now, Aoino couldn't discredit Shouyou's evaluation. Aoino wondered at how Tobio had wrapped himself up in volleyball to the point he never said anything about her beyond an ‘our manager got us _xyz_ ’ or so. He even answered Shouyou's question with an 'I guess.'

On her left, the team started with one of the older kids, the captain, she thought. He wore number one in the game. What had Shouyou said his name was? While she thought, the boy next to the captain leaned forward to face her.

“Hello. I’m the vice-captain, Sugawara. Everyone calls me Suga. Any chance you have any fun stories about baby Kageyama?” Suga-kun asked.

“Suga!” The captain chastised. Something with a ‘D’ she thought. 

“Oh, shush. It's my right as senpai to ask.” He pushed at the captain’s arm before turning his attention back to her. Aoino laughed.

“I have one or two.” Sugawara smiled. Somewhere a choir of angels sung… and somewhere underneath that, the devil rubbed his hands together. 

“You shouldn’t encourage him,” Daichi! --His name was Daichi!-- said, more to himself than her.

“Is that so?”

The three of them talked while they waited. Makito and the food both arrived at the same time, and they made quick introductions before everyone began eating. As Aoino watched, Suga stole pieces from Daichi’s plate with quick flicks of his chopsticks. Even if Daichi’s eyes moved towards his plate, he pretended not to notice.

Further down the table, Tobio and Shouyou dug into their food with abandon. They played the same food-stealing game with each other, but with more aggressive responses. Aoino swallowed down the instinct to berate them for their table manners. She’d let it slide… just this once. It didn’t help that, while eating, Shouyou carried a rambunctious conversation with the two boys across from him-- the one that had been in orange and the bald headed one.

She noticed that even though Shouyou carried the conversation and all three boys seemed to be the energetic type, they didn’t ignore Tobio. The two other boys threw questions at him about parts of the match, or good-naturedly teased him about his awkward attempts at smiling or ignorance of anything that didn’t involve volleyball. At one point, the shorter one even leaned over the table and ruffled his hair. Tobio scowled and stuffed a jumbo shrimp in his mouth, but when he looked down at his plate his soft face made Aoino melt. She could read his obvious happiness in everything from the light in his eyes to the energy in his shoulders.

She knew, though, none of that made him immune to choking on his food. Aoino bit her lip to keep from saying anything.

She needn't have worried, though.

“Tanaka! Nishinoya! Eat or talk, don’t do them at the same time! You too, Hinata.” Suga chastised. Tobio began to throw Hinata sly triumphant looks. “And Kageyama,” he looked at Suga, mouth full like a chipmunk, and Aoino resisted the urge to sigh. “Don’t eat so fast. Remember the barbecue? Drink some water.” Tobio nodded and swallowed.

“Sorry, Suga-san,” all four boys echoed. 

Across from Aoino the other woman at the table laughed, loud and unabashed.

“Ha! You really have them on a short leash! Good. My brother needs one!” The tall blond man next to her snorted (and Aoino could admit using ‘tall’ as a descriptor wasn’t very helpful considering the company, but even in a room of volleyball players, this man stood above them all). 

“Tell me about it,” Suga sighed. “Between him and Nishinoya, never a dull day. And then there's Kageyama and Hinata to give them a run for their money." Daichi nodded.

"Sometimes I think they’re in competition for who can be the noisiest and most disruptive,”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Kageyama could never do anything that could jeopardize practice time,” Suga said in an exaggerated scandalized voice.

“Unless that something is kicking Hinata or laughing at Hinata or yelling at Hinata.” Daichi seemed exasperated as he talked, but also fond. 

“Hinata boke!” Suga said in a quiet but gruff voice. Across from them the man (boy, actually, he was on the team, she was pretty sure) with the goatee laughed. He noticed Aoino watching him and stopped, curling in a bit. She tried to shoot him a soft smile.

“Does he really do that?” Makito asked in amusement. Suga and Daichi turned like they had forgotten they were there.

“Oh! I’m sure he doesn’t mean it! Kageyama’s high-spirited is all. Um…” Daichi said. 

“Don’t worry. That’s not what he meant.” She had already seen the teasing between the two boys. Not cruel, playful. “But… you really think Tobio’s loud?” High-spirited? Aoino thought back to childhood tantrums. True. No doubt about it. Yet… she hadn’t been seeing a lot of it lately. Not since middle school. She considered, now, that that might be a good thing. That energy was being channeled somewhere else. 

Suga and Daichi looked at each other and Suga laughed a little before turning back to her. 

“Not on his own. But when he and Hinata get into it…” he shook his head. “Better than when Tsukishima gets him riled up, though,”

The tall blond man turned to them from where he had been talking with the blond woman. 

“Is Kei starting fights?” He asked, sounding resigned. More shared looks.

“He has an interesting personality,” said Daichi. The man sighed. 

“I told him he has to get along with his teammates.” Aoino guessed he was related to the tallest boy on the team, also blond and similar in looks. It was nice to be reminded she and Makito weren’t the only ones worried about their asocial family member. 

She looked over to see Tobio now in a small fight with Shouyou over a piece of chicken. She brought her attention back to her immediate vicinity in time to see Sugawara turn away from the same scene. To her surprise, the two of them ended up sharing an exasperated look.

The meal progressed. She, Makito, and the blond man and women held a conversation along with Daichi and Suga. Both were mature pleasant boys and close friends with each other. She couldn't help but realize they cared on a personal level for all the members of their team. It made her feel warm. 

After almost an hour and with little food left on their plates, a bang echoed down the table. Everyone turned to see Shouyou face planted on the table, dead asleep.

“Good call, Shimizu,” said Sugawara. Above Shouyou, the black-haired manager held a plate of food she had pulled out of the way before Shouyou could ruin it. She nodded at Suga. 

“Huh?!” Shouyou woke up and turned to them. Next to him, Tobio kept almost nodding off before pulling himself back up.

“I think that’s our cue to start home,” said Minoru. Aoino and the others agreed with him. Soon all the adults, beside Ukai and a black-haired man she assumed was the teacher, said their goodbyes, paid for their meals, and chipped in for those of the team. 

“You don’t have to!” Said the black haired man.

“We insist. Consider it a thank you for everything you’ve done for them,” Aoino assured, the rest of the adults agreeing. The man blushed and thanked them with a bow.

Before they left, Aoino moved over to Tobio’s side of the table, smoothing down his hair. He looked up at her bleary-eyed and Aoino left a kiss on his forehead.

“I’m so proud of you, Tobio-chan.” He considered that for a moment 

“It was a good game,” he said. Aoino sighed and kissed him again.

At the door, Aoino turned to look back at the group. From this angle, she noticed something she couldn't before. On the space of the seat between them, Daichi and Suga held each other’s hands. She looked between them as Suga rested his head on Daichi’s shoulder for a moment before sitting up again. Oh.

She looked back over to Tobio. Shouyou, falling asleep again, dropped his head on Tobio’s arm before finding his way back to the table. Tobio glared at him for a moment before his tired features dropped into something fonder. Hmmm. She hadn't considered...

Aoino shook her head. It didn’t matter. Either way, looking at that table, she could rest knowing Tobio sat surrounded by friends. 

That night after Tobio fell asleep, she leaned into her husband’s side with the television playing a rerun of her favorite old sitcom. As she settled into his shoulder, she sighed in bone-deep relief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, couldn't help sneaking some Daisuga and potential Kagahina in there. My OTPs for this fandom hands down. But its all ambiguous, so do as you will.
> 
> Credit where credit is due, I did not expect Oikawa to show up in this story, but Aoino was at the game and then a particular review popped up in my head, so thanks **Jj1234**. It's not exactly what you asked for, but he showed up and Iwaizumi did smack him, so... 
> 
> Finally, now that this story has ended I'd like to thank everyone who has followed along, left kudos, and subscribed, and a special shout out to those who left reviews. Special special shout out to **satansdattir** who left reviews on every chapter and really kept this story going sometimes. This is the longest story I've ever completed to date, so that's cool.  
> I appreciate each and every one of you, so thank you. And if you have constructive criticism or comments about this chapter or the story as a whole, please let me know one last time.  
> Thank you and goodbye for now!

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed the story, consider [treating me to a coffee](https://ko-fi.com/S6S411MH4)  
> Especially if you're interested in podfics. ;-)


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